Inside My Head (Don't forget your helmet)

Hi Peanut! I am documenting some notes that I can hopefully share one day with you, so you can get a glimpse into your child hood. My memory is atrocious, so I am using this method to keep track. Today is August 20th at 9:53am. I am at work, with stacks of work piled around me, but I am doing this instead. Don't judge me. This place does not appreciate all the work your momma does and so she has to take breaks for her own mental health. It takes your parents an hour + to commute here and 2 hours to return home. We do this because we moved before finding new jobs. For you, for grandma and grandpa, for the better, I hope. Anyhoo...currently you are 2 years, 5 months and 10 days old. Man, I'm getting emotional just thinking of how big you are. But that's not what this post is about. Just wanted to track little notes, so that I can share with you later. You are a cranky kid. Trantrums galore. You don't get your way or you're playing with something and it falls, o...

So I didn't blog at all in 2018. I suck. It was a crazy, busy year. Very stressful, so I do have a plethora of excuses, but I am still disappointed in myself. I mean, on a good day, I can usually wrote up a post in like half an hour, so it's hard to think that I couldn't spare even that all last year. Anyway, enough beating myself up about it. For documentation sake, I am going to share some of the things that happened in 2018: 1/7/18 - Peanut had his first Happy Meal. I know he shouldn't, but at his age, you give them what they will eat and the boy loves his french fries, what can I say, he took after mom with that one. 2/17/18 - Went to a waterpark resort/road trip with the family. Peanut loves the water.We also hit up a Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum which was so strange. *FYI, due to my crappy memory, I'm using my phone pictures to trigger my memory 3/10/18 - Peanut was baptized. We had a nice little lunch afterwards at a pizza place. The decor ...

I'm gonna keep this short, I'm gonna keep this sweet. Happy 2019! I'm back, bishes! Who missed me? Nadie? Cool. Hopefully we can change that. My goal for 2019 is to get back in the blogging game, so wish me luck! ~I

Lookit here, I took another long absence. Surprise, surprise. I suck, I know. I've said it multiple times, but I genuinely have very limited time to update. And home is never the place I'm able to, with the baby and all the regular day to day stuff that has to be done. So I went back and re-read the last post I published, and it was the labor and delivery story. The next post of my journey is sadly, Post-Partum Depression and baby blues, two things that are very real and that I have experienced. Thing is, I'm not really in the mood to go back to that dark place, and thinking about how I was feeling right after, actually bums me out all over again, so I might leave that post for another day, if I share at all. It was an extremely hard moment in my life and I don't quite feel like reliving it right now. Let's move on to current day. Peanut is now 15 months old. 15 freaking months, man! Time flies! He is growing up so fast. He's also a really big baby, looks o...

It was time to push. My loved ones were holding my legs up to help me. Everyone was coaching me on how to push. One of the nurses said to push as if you were pooping. So that I did, and that I also did. That's right, I pooped when I gave birth. I'm not ashamed, trust me, at that moment, that was the least of my worries. Not so much for the other people in the room though. Not the medical professionals, they've seen it all, I mean my poor family. My husband seemed ok, but my poor sister, she did not take it well and in the middle of my pushing, she just leaves me. I was a little like "where the hell is she?", mainly because my mom couldn't hold my leg up by herself. I was a cranky lady, I can admit that. I told my sister I wanted the nurse to stop talking, I got snippy with my mom, I think with my husband too. It was just a mess. I wanted everyone to shut up. At one point, the doctor asked me if I wanted to reach down and touch the baby's head and I ...

Sooo...not sure if I've implied this already, but I did NOT have an easy labor and delivery. It's funny because in the weeks leading up to the date, I always though that if I was meant to have more children, that a sign would be an easy labor. Then I would be encouraged to go through it all again. I think God heard me up there and pulled a Marshall Erickson from How I Met Your Mother:  "Oh, honey sweetie baby." and gave me the craziest labor, so it would be crystal clear that I wasn't meant to do this again. Let me start at the beginning. Please keep in mind that my post-partum memory loss combined with the trauma of the experience and the sheer exhaustion has kept me from remembering a lot of details, but I will try to jot down what I do remember. Tuesday, March 7th, I had a doctor's appointment. During the last trimester, I had weekly stress tests and doctor's check ups. Those were loads of fun. Not. So I went to do my test first, then was going to ...

As I mentioned before, we were blessed with three baby showers. They were hosted by my husband's job, my family and my job. This was an unexpected turn of events. I didn't think people liked me enough to throw me a shower at work, but they did. My husband's job had one for him first, it was really nice. They got us tons of stuff! They all really seem to love him, as they should because that man bends over backwards to be helpful. I don't do that, which is why I thought I wouldn't get one. This was my first time meeting his co-workers, and they were all really nice and we ate and played games, it was fun. My job threw one for me as well, a couple of weeks before my last day. It was really nice as well. We had games and cake and lots of nice presents. I felt really special at seeing how everyone contributed to my Peanut. I'm not always a fan of the people I work with, and I know I wasn't while pregnant due to my excessive crankiness, but it was touchin...